This shit is raw

Look, I’ve seen some shit and I’ve done some shit that I’m not proud of. I’m writing my memoirs about when I was working on the streets. I am finally telling my truth about when I learned how to honor and respect my body.

The story I’m telling is raw. Someone called it porn. I don’t think it’s even close to porn though. It’s passionate, yes. It’s, of course, explained but not graphic. I’m proud of my writing. I’m so happy I am able to share this story. I feel it’s about time people know this about me. I feel it’s time I stop trying to hide it.

People say that for us to be happy, we have to do things that make us happy. Well, sex makes me happy. Now, I already tried the having sex all the time thing – it doesn’t work! That’s what I’m writing about now. However, I’m not telling a woes me story. I’m telling a story of a young woman who didn’t know anything about herself and was scared to experience anything true. She was working the streets, making good money, and falling in love with the wrong people. I was a very unhappy young woman. Well, through my sexual escapades, I learned a lot about myself. 

There came a time, however, I was terrified of that enjoyment. I blocked it out and became very closed off. Eventually, I met someone who brought that sexual desire back out of me. He handled business quite well. Since then I have struggled with finding a balance between my addiction to sex, the need for contact, and empathic abilities that caused confusion.

I’ve finally found it

I haven’t quite figured out fully how to work it to it’s full potential, but I’m working on it.

The reason I share this story is because I want to let y’all know that I believe in you. I believe that whatever it is you’re going through, I feel you can overcome the hardships and learn to love them instead of fight them. Giving into my desires for sexual release has allowed me to write my memoirs in a way that has changed my life.

I want to encourage you to tap into those passionate things in your life that make you feel positive powers. Recognize them and acknowledge their involvement in your daily life. Try to practice a new routine so you can intertwine them into your daily life. When you have things you love in your life, you’ll enjoy life more often. And, really, isn’t that what we’re supposed to be doing … enjoying life! So, go … ENJOY IT!

Now, I’m not encouraging that drug addicts go use or anything like that. My point is that I am working on focusing my addict energy into more productive things. I’m using the energy to write, exercise, and interact with people on a more intimate level. I have faith that you can do it too. I have faith that you can find whatever it is that makes you happy and run with it. I believe you can tap into whatever it is that makes you feel something deep down in your soul.

Do you see that bright shinny ball somewhere deep down within you? It’s not a train, I promise! Focus on that light. Focus on the beauty and feel the intrigue. Live every day as if it’s the last day you live. That’s such an over said phrase, but it’s true. The only moment that truly matters is right now. The moment you’re in while you’re reading this. Stop worry about what happened 1- minutes ago or what might happen in 10 minutes. It doesn’t matter. Look at where you’re at. What are you doing? What do you hear? What do you see, feel and smell? That’s your moment. Find at least two blessings within this moment and try to do it again in an hour.